This will help the children to feel good about themselves and feeling good attracts good things into our lives.

The holidays are upon us as well as a vacation from the school and our daily routines.  Children need routines to hold them in place.  If we as parents can plan ahead, make special plans over the holidays for our children, as well talk a certain way to our children we will see how pleasant the holidays can be.

1. The secret is that you cannot force children, or anyone, to do anything that they do not want to do.
    
   All behavior should be determined by choices.
   We must teach our children how to make good choices.
    
2. We teach children about responsibility by giving them choices instead of orders. We give them choices while we stay calm and in control.  If you practice the following ways to talk to your children, and just change the scenario around to work with what you need from them, you will see how what you ask of them and how you do it will make a world of difference and you WILL GET COOPERATION.  And everyone will feel good about the situations and the days.

Below are tips that will keep the holidays cooperative and joyous for everyone:

The following are ways a non-productive parent talks to their children:

"It is time for all of you to put away the blocks. If you don't put them away right now, there will be no story at bedtime tonight."

"If you are not in your car seats and sitting quietly in two minutes, you will not be able to have friends over tomorrow.”

"If you do not make your bed every morning this week, you will get extra chores to do.”

"If you do not cooperate with your sister or brother, you will not get to go to the movie.”

Now, let's look at how parents who know the secret might handle the same situations:

"I want to read you a story at bedtime. Put away all of the blocks so we'll have time to read an extra one tonight.”

“As soon as you are in your car seats quietly then we can leave.  Then we can talk about what we want to do tomorrow with your friends when they come over to play.”

"If you make your beds every day this week, it will help me so much and we can do something special on the weekend.”  In addition parents, Notice that they made their bed and tell them, “I notice that you made your beds.  I am so appreciative.  That helps keep the house nice.  Thank you.”

"Of course you can go to the movie, just as long as you cooperate with your sister or brother.”

Parents just turn the negative words into positive ones and plug in what you need to say in a productive way where you are in control of your words.

Enjoy the holidays with your children and families.

Some ideas taken from, Dr. William Glassar
 
-- Susan Stern, LCSW is the founder of The Social Skills Place, Inc.